How do i begin to save my, "our" marriage now that my husband's not just a great officer, but a different man?

We've known echothr WELL 23+ yrs, very VERY close Platonic friends, romantically 13+ yrs, married 11+ yrs. But..I no longer "know" him, he DOES NOT ANY LONGER KNOW ME, the closest person I've ever been so lucky 2 "have" in my life, is so, SO SADLY is now, honestly A COMPLETE STRANGER, who I, when he's here, {not just physically, but the VERY RARE times here wantingly, emotionally, luvnly, or mentally} & his wrds "I have BETTER things to put myself into". DEAR GOD~ how do I & my precious son live this way? When he does, rarely, have kind, luvn-ish wrds, & a welcoming "way" & inviting expression is as he literally directs me like traffic to our once sacred bed, & spends a cple moments TOPS w/ my body, jst my body, usually me face down in pillow, to then be IMMEDIATELY walks away from. On "good" ....???....., I get his dirty shirt, underware ...once a dirty sock even, tossed @ me 4 clean-up. I feel nothing more than like a tool, a tool that doesn't want to live anymore...NO MORE...NOT 2 MORE DAY THIS WAY...NOT HAVN MY LUV, MY HEART, MY......metaphorically........ ~•~ MY EVETYTHING~•~………no more..?..???.. . . . . .